My patience is a bit shorter now… im like a bomb that’s ready to explode… I’d like to tell my brain that I’m quite ok… it shall pass… but my heart kicks back with troubled and disturbed feelings… I hate feeling like this… all i want is just peace… peace for a couple of days… a worry free week… without the daily ‘these and thats’ …. it’s honestly tiring… My daughters dont know how I’m feeling inside. They din’t understand … they won’t… My wife thinks I’m just fine and could care less about my anxiety attacks… This is my reality now… a future of mental uncertainty where i play charades with myself pretending to be someone else…. it’s not a prison… it’s my freedom without any meaning…
But I must go on and dsregsrd these thoughts… it’s the only wat I can redeem myself from my failures in life…
Tomorrow may be different… it can be better…. hopefully….
