Chapter 1 : How Did I Know?
This is my blog post on how I walk by depression on a daily basis.
It’s not easy. People judge me. People label me. They stamp me with the “Playing a Victim” role right in my face.
They would always think they know better on how to deal with it. They think you are weak and pathetic. I’ve been there and still there.
Let’s begin. So how did I find out?
I’m not an expert on these type of mental disorders. I don’t even google the symptoms and causes of ‘Depression’. You just feel it. You just know it. In my opinion, it’s not a feeling or an emotional state like happiness or sadness. It’s some sort of possession that takes over your whole being entirely. There will be times when it remains passive and idle. But there will be moments when it’s so active, your mind plays tricks on you, making you create a whole new universe right before your eyes.
There will be days that I feel down and sad to the point that everything I see or hear is from a melancholic song or a dramatic movie. There will be days That I’ll be jolly, smiling and feeling positive but incomplete. And there will be days that I breathe fire, always angry and would want to bash people with my baseball bat.
I’m not planning to seek help from a shrink and that’s it. I want to face it head on. Is this a psychotic breakdown? I think not. I’m still in control; well as far as I know. I brand it Depression. I know. By writing this, I can monitor how shitty my life rolls every fuckin single day.
- This is Chapter One. And I’ll never see graceland.